Am I enough?

Am I enough?

Am I doing enough?

It’s been a weird weekend… Starting with my first ever car accident on Friday morning. Yay. Not the best way to end the week or start the weekend. After sorting out the “admin”, I’ve spent the weekend…thinking. More so than usual. And not the best sign in the world.

This particular reflection was brought on by a discussion at work where we were chatting about our achievements during the first half of 2015. Today, that topic is sitting heavily with me. During that particular discussion and today, over the past six months I don’t feel as though I have achieved anything this year. I’m currently head high in a project that is taking all of my working hours and something that has been an incredible struggle for me to get through.

The logical part of my brain tells me that just the fact that I have survived these past six month should be an achievement itself. The fact that I made it to work, was a functional human being should be more than enough. I’ve started blogging, overcame a fear, reached my goal weight (though, I’m pretty sure this last weekend I’ve eaten it all back!), gotten stronger and fitter, started a daily meditation practice and just trying to be a good person should be more than enough.

Yet, the emotional part of my mind tells me that I need to do more, I should be doing more, I should have achieved numerous milestones. I should have completed more “concrete” things – published articles, completed projects and just be a more successful person. My emotional mind tells me I should be watching less series and train for a marathon, I should not allow myself to stay in bed all day when I don’t feel up too anything. It just makes me feel like a failure.

Sometimes life is hard.

 

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