It’s the end of week 4.
Four more weeks to go.
How did I not throw in the towel yet?
And… Where the hell does time fly?
Weigh-in and measurements… eek! To my surprise I lost a few cams across my waist and hips, in addition to losing a few kilos. Yet, I am scared that I’m losing muscle. For me the point is to GAIN muscle, not lose it… damn, I don’t even have that much to start with!
I did notice a difference when wearing clothes… they are a loser and I think I’m slowly losing the love-handle/hip-dip things (in my mind they have decreased in size)… WIN! It does make complete sense though, the majority of the exercises in barre and pilates are very hip area focussed 🙂
Now, if I can just tone my tummy…..
Week 4 = Challenging! I managed to do three double classes – six hours in total of training. Three hours of barre, three hours of pilates. I even managed to complete the “double” on two consecutive days. After pushing myself on Monday and Tuesday with doubles, I was pretty “lazy” the rest of the week.
My aim was to try and fit in a Hot Yoga class and an hour with P but during week 4, I just couldn’t. Work-wise I had a rough time as well – busy, busy, busy. Ultimately, it could just have been my diet and emotional state but all I wanted to do was sleep and forget I existed for a while!
The Barre class on Saturday was different – there were only two of us in class and Tyla, our awesome instructor, did more of a ballet type toning class. I really enjoyed it, and it is something I would like to try (I was a tomboy and never did any dance class of any kind) except… I am uncoordinated, ungraceful and my body moves in weird ways (there goes my dreams of being a professional dancer)! 😛
It was a pretty healthy week, diet-wise. However, by the end of the week and by the last class on Saturday I felt “funky”. Something wasn’t right. I realised by Saturday afternoon that I was not taking in enough calories to sustain my exercise/ work/ life schedule. Though I did not formally test myself, I’m pretty sure I was pretty close to ketogenesis. My body felt as though it was giving up on me. And my body does not like the feeling…
I’m still strong with no ready-to-drink beverages and I have not added sugar to any drinks/ foods. Which I think is good for me!
There is something else I’m scared about regarding my diet, but I’ll discuss it more below…
It was probably the most challenging week to date. Perhaps it was because I pushed myself a lot, was sleep deprived and was not eating enough but I was severely “depressed”.
Hell, I still feel a burnt-out.
It feels as though life is throwing me one curveball after another. I’m juggling all these balls in the air and I’m afraid if I set back a bit they are all going to hit me in the face (literally and metaphorically). And that is frustrating, stressful and depressing! Cant. Deal!
Can I world just please let me off for a breather?
If you haven’t already realised, I’m a control freak… I need to have everything in my life under control, an impossible task – I know! With my stats after four weeks and the craziness in my life, I’m scared I will slip into a pattern of disordered eating. I did have severe disordered eating (no excessive training at all though) when my world was going crazy about ten years ago – the only thing I could control was my eating habits. Couple that with my chronic low self-worth and it was a recipe for disaster.
This time around I still have low self-worth, my life is probably more crazy, I’m incredibly stressed/burnt out and training a lot – yet I am cognisant of it but still damn scared. I do put a lot of pressure on myself: I’ve already lost weight and centimetres and I need to maintain it or lose more!!! Not very healthy but I am taking steps to try to remedy the situation. While I am training a lot but I have halted the diet and try to just eat healthy (no ready-made food or beverages, not adding sugar to beverages/food, no milk chocolate, no sweets). I went in to the challenge to lose/tone specific areas but also to have it the start of a healthy lifestyle for me… and I think if I just listen to my body I will be ok… I think.
Does anyone have any tips/ habits/ tools for self-worth? And motivation?
Looking forward to Week 5:
I have to unexpectedly leave town again this weekend for a five days so the Week 5 weekend workouts are a no-go. In my wisdom (and in trying to challenge myself) I’ve signed up for a TRIPLE on Tuesday (two barre classes followed by a pilates class). I keep pushing myself to try and do better.
I also have an hour with P on Wednesday, followed by double Barre on Thursday.
Sucker for punishment? Yes, Yes I am . However after moving my body in any way, shape or form I FEEL good… those endorphins kick in, I feel fantastic and sleep like a baby! Moving is something I need to do!
So let’s see if I can kick ass in Week 5 and successfully complete the triple!!
Please feel free to comment below. Any thoughts, opinions, tips and ideas are greatly appreciated!