#GetFitChallenge – Recap of Week 7: Life…happens

Week 7 was a struggle, a major struggle. The life and work boxes of my life are overflowing with urgent matters that resulted in the fitness box being ignored. Not cool. I did the bare minimum in training and the diet, well lets not even go there right now!

My big lesson for week 7 was “Everything in moderation”. Sometimes for the sake of my own mental and physical health I need to set aside time for myself to exercise away the stress, anxiety, worry and eating healthy (and when hungry) to perform and face struggles with “grace” (not that I have much)! So… here is my review…

Stats

After my high of week 6, I neither weighed nor noted measurements… Again my internal self feels as though I need to be better than I was last time and with my training and diet being sub-par, I know I will be disappointed in myself.

Training 

Only four and a half hours of training this week… 90 minute hot yoga on Sunday and two barre classes and a pilates class two days later. It was my third triple (barre, barre and pilates right after each other) which was pretty cool.

My training schedule was not as good as the other weeks – mostly due to traveling and life stuff. I’ve felt it emotionally and physically: craving exercise and my anxiety levels are at an all time HIGH! I need to move, I need to stop thinking, I need to sweat it out.

Diet 

This has been the WORST week for my diet. And I’m pretty sure I ate away all my gains over the past six weeks.

I’m very much an emotional eater and with my life slowly crumbling before my eyes in Week 7, I ate my way through it all… not through junk but with “healthy” food. Way too many protein bars (with no training), loads of nuts, deep fried and sweet homemade goodies (yup, was at my parents again) and tons of dark chocolate.

Even though I have not had sweets, intentionally added sugar to any meals or eaten taken aways and junk food – I feel crap (both physical and emotional). With the lack of routine, I have been missing my Omega and probiotic supplements…

Emotions

The end of week 7 is rough and I assume week 8 is going to be pretty damn hard. In addition to being on a busy-as-hell work cycle (and already pissed off from work emails I read while on holiday – I know, my bad!), I am dealing with lots of big family stuff and my own hormones and bloating this week…. and trying to detox from my Week 7 disaster!

A warning to all: Take cover! 

Looking forward: Week 8 

I can’t believe it will be the last week of the challenge! It makes me sad… I’ve thoroughly enjoyed the challenge – I didn’t even think I would cope past week 2. It was my first ever challenge and I will definitely sign up for another one!

Physically, barre and pilates have targeted areas of my body that have been problems for years (and I did learn that it only takes a week of bad eating and self pity to undo the hard work)!

Emotionally and Mentally, it has given me an outlet for my stress, anxiety and low moods. Pushing myself in the challenge has also made me more disciplined and careful of what I put into and how I treat my body…

Week 8, lets do this! I’ve set myself a pretty hefty challenge with 6 hours of barre, 2 hours of pilates, 1 hour of general training and hopefully I can squeeze in hot yoga on Sunday (which is technically week 9).

k x

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Gone But Not Forgotten

I have not written in a few months. I’ve wanted to multiple times, but unfortunately could not bring myself to do so.

My last post was about my gran dying.

On the 11th of February 2017, I watched my gran take her last breath. It was the culmination of two weeks of torture for me – watching her decline very fast. I am fortunate I could spend the last two days by her side, talking to her (she was in a comatose state).

As with most “traumatic” events in my life, I reverted to my default mechanism. Shut off the emotions and get stuff done. It is what I do. As a Hindu, there are a number of rituals we go through, which I followed for my gran. So I was pretty busy getting things sorted and making sure everyone was ok.

However, like all things that we try to ignore and not deal with… they come out raging, when we least expect it.

It has been 4 months since my gran left and I miss her.

Every. Single. Damn. Day.

I love you my Nans so much and miss her terribly.

It is heart wrenching – i just want to talk to her, discuss politics and sports with her, let her go off on tangents an ask me the same question in the space of a few hours.

As I write this I am crying…it is hard for me to “open” up about it… my grief is raw and I don’t like being vulnerable. Maybe someday I will write more about it – but not now. I hope this post will get me writing again – I miss it.

 

Growing Older

People say growing older is a privilege, one that is denied to many. I agree, but at what point do we draw the line?

My maternal gran – the only grandparent I have left – is dying. I grew up with three grandparents, lost my maternal grandfather at 16. I lost my paternal gran at 27.

My maternal gran is the one I am the closest too. My mom is her only child and my sister and I are her only grandchildren. Ever since my grandfather passed away in 2001, she’s lived with us… and I speak to her everyday – especially since I moved away from home to Cape Town and now Joburg.

Over the past three years my gran has become a lot less stable, and has been losing weight.  Since July 2016, though, she has not been well. Her eyesight has deteriorated rapidly and she’s become a lot more forgetful. In December, she was frail and weak.

A mere four weeks since I last saw her, my gran can barely walk on her own. She needs help and has been asleep a lot. I stayed with her during my stay and learnt she was afraid – but she could not tell me of what. She’s in pain but her medication provide no relief. She sometimes forgets who I am. She has no appetite. She’s far from the person she used to be. It breaks my heart. And I can’t fix it. I can’t make it better.

A family friend who visited over the weekend said that this “dying process/stages” can be a way for us to say goodbye while she is still here. I understand that (my grandfather died suddenly)… but it is still so hard to see her go through it. My paternal gran went through the same process…

I know it is only a matter of time. And I already miss her. I miss talking to her every afternoon – hearing her tease me about something or the other. I’m crying writing this. I’m anxious and scared that at any given moment I could get the phone call.

The only thing certain in life is death. It’s sobering and puts life into perspective (especially since I had a man die on me (he had a sudden heart attack and fell on me) at an airport this Tuesday…but thats another story).

Cherish the people in your life now, tell them you love them. Be with them.

My nani made a huge difference to my life. I love my nani with all of my heart. I already miss her, even if she does not know who I am.

k x